The Impact of Alcohol Addiction

Last Updated on Wednesday, 24 August 2011 12:04

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When there is a drinking problem in the family, in your group of friends, or in the workplace, all members of the group are affected.

It can be really hard and stressful when a parent, stepparent, grandparent, friend, sibling, or anyone else in our lives, has a drinking problem.  Recognising it can be tricky and not knowing what the next step might be from there can be stressful.

So here are a few questions that you could ask yourself about how you feel about how the person your concerned about is drinking:

Are you worried about their drinking habits?
Do you feel that they should cut down or would cutting down be a very difficult thing for them to do?
Do they get angry or irritated if you or someone else talks about their drinking?
Have you ever known them to feel bad or guilty about their drinking or their behaviour?
Have you ever noticed that they tend to need a drink first thing in the morning to either steady their nerves or to try and get rid of a hangover?

If you’ve answered “yes” to any one of these questions this may indicate that there is a possible alcohol problem. If there is more than one yes, it shows that a problem is highly likely. Another way you check this out could be by downloading a “DrinkCheck” from www.alac.org.nz

Young people and adults are affected by alcohol in different ways, most young people choose to binge drink, which means heavy drinking, drinking more than you should in a short period of time.

If you think that someone you know might have an alcohol problem, it is important to get support. However, this is often much easier said than done!!! It is important to remember that you can’t force them to get help except in certain circumstances, such as a traffic violation or in an arrest which results in court-ordered treatment. However, you don't have to wait for someone to "hit rock bottom" to do something.

Issues with alcohol are definitely not black and white, and it affects the person addicted and those close to them in many ways, and with it comes questions, uncertainty, lies and tears. Approaching our loved ones who may be struggling with these problems is not the easiest thing to do, and at times it may not feel like it is possible to do.  But if you are able to approach someone you’re worried about, here are a few tips that might be useful to take:

Your Approach: Remember, you are approaching this person out of care and concern; it is not an attack or an intervention. Take it slowly, talk to them one on one, be open and honest about your concerns, but be careful to avoid labels or judgements, and allow the other person room to talk and respect them by listening to their point of view.

Carefully choose a time and place: Finding a place that is safe for both of you to go is important. You could possibly do this at home, or if you are going out, try find somewhere that it was quiet, has limited distractions and no access to alcohol.

Be specific: Tell the person that you’re concerned; that you are worried about them, about his or her drinking and how this may be negatively affecting them and others around them. Use examples of the ways in which the drinking has caused problems, including the most recent incident(s).

Be prepared for a number of responses: The person who you suspect of having a drinking problem, may react to your talk with them in a range of different ways, from total acceptance of what you have said and being onboard to wanting to change (best case scenario); to in-between with all the“yeah, I know’s” BUT “it’s not really a problem” or “who doesn’t go out and get wasted from time to time?” or “it’s not like you don’t drink at all”; right through to the person being incredibly shocked, angry, offended and feeling that you have just accused them of being out of control (worse case scenario). We need to be prepared for these reactions and remember that we are only doing this because we care about this person and want the best for them.

What if you cannot talk to this person: if you can’t or don’t feel like you’re able to talk to this person for any reason (maybe it’s your mum or dad, relative, or even a friend that you might be scared of losing over discussing this topic with them), that’s cool, it is NOT your responsibility or your fault that this problem is happening.  However, it is important that you let others know about your concerns or about what is going on.  This will not only help to recognise the problem, and avoid excuses, lies and cover ups to continue.  Also by letting others know, you will be able to get support (so you don’t feel so alone), and ultimately begin to try and help the person that you are worried about to get the support that they need too.

If you are or aren’t able to talk directly with the person, the following tips will most probably be incredibly useful to you in getting help and support for your loved one:

Get help: Gather information in advance about treatment and support options in your community. If the person is willing to get help, call immediately for an appointment. You could also offer to go with them to their first visit to a treatment program and/or an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

Get others to help you out:  Call on a friend / or a family member / or your pastor (basically anyone that you think that your loved one will respect and listen to) to give you a hand with either being involved with talking to them with you, or getting them to talk to your loved one instead of you (this maybe appropriate if it’s someone older than you).

Get support: It is important to remember that you are not alone. Support groups are offered in most communities. These groups hold regular meetings for spouses, family members and children who may be affected by another’s drinking. These groups help family members understand that they are not responsible for an alcoholic's drinking and that they need to take steps to take care of themselves, regardless of whether the alcoholic family member chooses to get help.

IMPORTANT - If someone or you feel unsafe because of someone else’s drinking or drug taking they/you should call the Police, and if you find someone unconscious call an ambulance, dial 111.

How can you be affected by addicted family or friends?

Financial problems – where all the money is spent on alcohol or drugs
Social life has changed a lot, where new people are coming around to the house or your parents and friends are rarely home, or they never do anything other than drink with friends.
You are unable to talk to them properly anymore
They have become very violent and you notice them hurting other people and/or you
They drive while drunk and you are worried about their safety
They disappear for more than a day and you never see them
Are you afraid of them?  Especially when they drink
Are they binge drinking (drinking a lot at one go)?  
If you learn more about binge drinking follow this link to the on the Urge website where there is a lot of information on Alcohol and Binge drinking.
Do you not know how to deal with them when they are drunk or even when they are sober?
Do you look after the rest of the family or do any of your friends or family look after you because there is no one home?
Does it affect your sleep pattern?
Do you think it affects yours and theirs school and work situation?
Because of what is going on around you (at home or with friends) do you think it causes issues with your family or your friends?
If you have any of the above concerns and would probably like some advice and support on how to go about getting help for your addicted mate or family member then check any of the services listed below or have a look on URGE  www.urge.co.nz  or call Youthline on 0800 37 66 33

Don’t expect miracles with their behaviour, or for their drinking patterns to automatically change for the better.  You can’t take away their problem(s) for them, nor can you make this your problem to solve.   It’s not a cut that can be healed simply by a band-aid, nor is it something that they will be able to “just get over”.  It is something that will take time and patience.